Tuesday, December 12, 2017

"SAVOR THIS FINE CRANBERRY LOAF"

Another year, another "Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog" by Drew Magary:
"Price: $299.95, plus $40 delivery
Copy: 'For dedicated cheese enthusiasts'
Drew says: You better be at that price, holy shit. I like cheese as much as the next heart attack candidate but when I pay $300 for six months of cheese, that better amount to 9,000 pounds of cheese. I want a truck parked outside and tubes of liquid cheddar on tap in my basement. If you’re just sending me a stupid cheese platter every four weeks, that’s not acceptable to me. That is not six TRUE months of cheese. To me, six months of cheese means I can strip naked and tape the windows shut and live off that cheese for half the year, shutting myself in like a heroin addict. I don’t give a shit if Farmer Merle aged it in coffee and beeswax. I want quantity, otherwise I consider the Boska legacy sullied."
It's nice to know what our betters will be enjoying this holiday season.  Also, sign me up for the cheese fountain.

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